20100824
20100816
protest superficially
protest is about making statements, i myself is the life-long protest reacting to the society im living in. the way i think is represented in the way i act, dress, eat, love... what i embrace tells what i against, that is protest. the notion is always there that i haven't paid much attention to until recently.
the persuit of beauty, the beauty of the tangable world, like a nice sunset, the blooming of a nameless tiny flower or a lover's kiss are still enchanting to me yet a question is asked all along: what beauty is? "beauty is in everything." for example in people, the faces of my own race are the most intriging, their complexity, the emotions and textures are what beauty exudes rather then the material nature of beautiful faces because beautiful faces expire, true beauty doesnt.
in this decade people are more body-conscious than ever, not only women are dying to shape up but men do too. the teen model phenomenon shows the shifting of value of sexuality and sensuality and we're all sucked into this vortex of sexy/beautifful=value.
it might not be a conscious act for what im projecting with my look at first, it turns out that im willing to put anything on, even the most feminine clothes but avoid to look too feminine, dont wanna fit in to the sterotype of what a "girl" should look, like wearing long hair and having makeup on my face. these are all sex appeal oriented, when a person looks better s/he is more easily to be liked, and hopefully, to be loved, in between, to get laid, in the end, get married or get parted, all these efforts put for one simple hope hanged by a piece of thread that wears out as time goes by.
i cant stop wondering what remains after the earthly beauty subsides for a girl and for the relationship. m i still loved if i strip off my makeup or even if im disfigured, will i be half the person i was? i asked the question and had answer but i was too shallow to realise how significant the answer was and how dear was that person to my trivial life. although this might not link directly, i decided to go makeupless, for look changes every sigle day, beauty or otherwise dont last. without the touch of glitter, like me not for who i am and how i look exactly.
please accept the truth that we grow old, and along grows our knowledge as well.
20100802
愛與快樂之神
多巴胺,主宰愛與快樂,我想尊它為神。從前認為以化學之名命名愛,很不浪漫,而今,我只希望愛神多巴胺多多眷顧、常常臨幸,令我遠離苦厄,甜笑滿臉如夏夜昨晚。
在飄盪著 disco 2000 的夜風中小跑了一會,不太累,不想太累,不繞圈跑就慢慢切入草地中心,然後躺下,看看四面燈火高樓環抱的星空,草地卻是難得的幽暗,Sæglópur 襯托下的旺角夜空其實也很美,便想到家中等待的人,很想與她飯後再來吹風吹水,就快快回去做飯。起來時人己涼,也不渴,回去前還是想到水機喝點水再走。兩部機,三個小孩,高的二人在左邊喝,右邊小的嚷讓著喝不到,我替他按著著他喝,小孩楞著有兩秒鐘才開得口說「我不夠高呀。」我說你不夠高呀怎麼辦?那我抱你吧,就抱起了孩子。懷中的小孩,比想像中輕又軟,著他用力按制,他用力按;問他可喝得到,他點頭;問他夠了沒,他點點頭,我把他放下,高的己經在我身旁,對小的說那快跟姐姐說謝謝啦,我心裏真是快樂滿瀉,歲月神偷嗎?竟有如此有禮小孩,我附和著對呀快說謝謝姐姐啦,小的扭膩,一時說不上來,我勾著他袖邊又著他一次,他以極靦覥的笑容謝謝姐姐了,又是一陣甜膩爆發,真的很可愛呀。再見了孩子,我也謝謝你們,因為你們簡簡單單就為我無痛無悔地,帶來了很大劑量的多巴胺的一個晚上。