20190410

Open定Close呀


如果唔識英文,你會點樣睇呢個符號?

呢個圖案,出現喺公眾洗手間廁格o既大卷裝廁紙筒上面,呢種廁紙筒一般有鎖,要用鎖匙先開到。第一眼望埋去,兩邊各有一個英文字母「O」,咁得意?擰左又係開(O = Open)擰右又係開?再睇真尐,原來左邊係「O」,右邊係「C」(C = Close)。

如果唔識英文,純粹當表意符號睇,C 係一個有缺口o既O,O 係一個無缺口o既圈。呢件事另我聯想到電路圖,佢無論幾複雜都好,都要閉合先可以成為一個回路,英文係 circuit。Circuit 語源來自古法語,字根源自拉丁文circum + ire 啫係圍繞 + 行。Circuit 可以 open 亦可以係 closed。但係 O 只能係 closed,C 亦只能係open。

我好好奇 O o既來源,原來佢公元前1500年嗰時係咁樣樣

 
佢係源自埃及o既原始西奈字母(Proto-Sinaitic script),呢個字本義係眼咁解
覺唔覺得好面善?

呢個世界上仲有咁多種 O音字母:Œ Ɔ Ơ Ỏ º ℅ ᴥ Ƹ Ю Ө ע ع ܥ ዐ ჺ Ո ո,同埋咁多種 O 字:ø Ǿ ǿ ö Ȫ ȫ Ó ó Ò ò Ô ô Ố ố Ồ ồ Ổ ổ Ỗ ỗ Ộ ộ Ǒ ǒ Ő ő Ŏ ŏ Ȏ ȏ Ȯ ȯ Ȱ ȱ Ọ ọ ɵ ơ Ớ ớ Ờ ờ Ỡ ỡ Ợ ợ Ở ở ỏ Ō ō Ṓ ṓ Ṑ ṑ Õ õ Ȭ ȭ Ṍ ṍ Ṏ ṏ Ǫ ǫ Ȍ ȍ O̩ o̩ Ó̩ ó̩ Ò̩ ò̩ Ǭ ǭ

有研究指出,有非源自閃米語族(亞非語系)的文字,都有用類似O形o既字母去標示O音,例子有Afaka 同Ol Chiki scripts,呢兩個語言發明至今約一百年,兩者的發明者均表示由於O嘴發出O音,所以O就寫成咁。

O,一個無始無終o既環,又令我諗起婚戒。據指古羅馬時代已經以戒指做結婚盟約o既信物,及後基督徒沿用古羅馬的習俗至今。福音站文章係咁話:「婚戒的圓形,象徵著生命和永恒,而婚戒之所以戴在無名指上,是因為埃及人相信這個手指的血脈直通心房,可以達到主管愛情的地方——心臟。」仲話戒指最初係簡單o既鐵環,至到二世紀先開始用黃金來做戒指架咋。

所以有人教揀婚戒要揀無缺口o既款式,象徵美滿o既愛情喎。哦。

我已經撐到太平洋o既對岸咁遠了。其實O同C係開定閂定閂定開,亂扭兩次一定知,我FF太多了。


資料來源:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proto-Sinaitic_script

https://www.jgospel.net/c/2/136004/353/3986/%E5%9F%BA%E7%9D%A3%E5%BE%92%E7%9A%84%E5%A9%9A%E6%88%80.aspx

https://kknews.cc/zh-hk/fashion/5988qal.html

http://www.cxtuku.com/pic_212003.html

20180428

open up the nostrils


https://www.boredpanda.com/dog-breathing-problems-awareness-pinched-nostrils-cruffa/

the above article tells that if ur pug has pinched nostrils, meaning they are shut because its face is too mushed up, give them a nose job to open them up so that they can breath.

i like pugs for they are adorable in an ugly way. like many selectively bred animals, they are known to have a number of health issues including difficulty to breath. the only reason i know for this to happen is the obsession of purebred, it causes every problem and suffer to these animals.

i bumped into this article and it finally makes sense to me why they always seem breathless because THEY ARE BREATHLESS WITH NOSTRILS THAT ARE SHUT.

why are they shut? because they are selectively bred to have shorter and shorter snouts. i try to look for photos of how they looked before human interventions (at least on the early stage of interventions). the results show that they had short but somewhat reasonable snouts.

it is both sad and angry when i realise how obvious why some of these dogs cannot breath just because humans think they look cuter with shorter snouts.

and along the way of searching you can see not only the pinched nostrils but many other examples of the results of selective breeding or artificial selection such as nearly beakless pigeon, bubble eye goldfish, cow with extremely developed muscles…


all the pain and suffer are just for meeting the human aesthetic standards, satisfying the enjoyment of their taste buds or simply their vanity.

we love animals, we treat them right. purebred is one of the opposite ways of doing it. try to know more about purebred and puppy mills and see what they really are.

is je, the cat on the left a beauty? i think she is. she is simply beautiful the way she is.

open our hearts and eyes to see the beauty in every creature. before buying an animal from a pet shop, think about those who need homes in sanctuaries if you are ready to welcome a furry family member home. after all they are living creatures, there's more to this than meets the eye.

sources:

20150602

出離心



很有意思的出離心,之前看過大半,最後兩段是新知,是很好的提醒。

何謂「出離心」?

在佛教裡,出離有很多種含義和解釋,我遇到的很多人都把佛教的出離理解為遠離人世,就像悉達多太子曾經做過的那樣,不過這種解釋容易把尚未準備好的人嚇跑,佛陀並不打算剃光每個追隨者的腦袋。對於生活在城市裏,喝桶裝水,每天坐地鐵上下班的人來說,悉達多的出離在多數時候只能是一種遙遠的夢想。他們可能並沒有太多的選擇餘地。如果你想修行佛法的話,你可能只能在這樣的環境裏修,在地鐵裏,在公司裏,在下班的路上,在晚飯之後。但你同樣可以出離,要知道,出離心並不只有一種表現形式。如果你想知道自己是否具有出離心,可以以這種方法檢驗:在過去對你很重要的一件事,現在是否對你一點都不重要,過去可以輕易激怒你的事,現在你是否毫不在乎。如果是的話,那麼你就從這裏出離了。你需要出離的東西很多,並不只是不抽煙不喝酒或不打牌,那只是開始。所謂出離,就是不再執著過去執著的事物。當你不再執著一件事物或一種習慣,它就失去了指揮擺布你的能力。你也就獲得了自由。

從這個意義上來說,你必須出離所有的事物,才能獲得徹底的自由,我這裏所說的所有的事物當然不止是那些看得見摸得著的東西,也包括很多細微的東西。例如,如果你看到一個觀點,這個觀點令你不舒服,那麼說明你執著於一個相反的觀點。這個觀點奴役著你,所以你會不舒服。這樣的事情也應該出離。不管這個相反的觀點正確與否,或是誰所說,如果他可以讓你不舒服,那你已經被攻陷,你都應該從那裏出離。 應該指出的是,佛教所有的觀點都是為了破除另一些觀點而出現,但它不應該成為你的新主人。你也許經常會變得很生氣,那是因為你的生活裏總是出現與你所預期的相反的東西。例如,你請的臨時工可能讓你非常不舒服,僅僅是因為她擦桌子的方式與你不同,你很不喜歡她那種看上去非常笨拙的擦法。甚至有時候你在街上看見一些打扮誇張把頭髮染成綠色的人也會生氣。那是因為你執著於古老的審美觀。要擺脫這種不爽的心態,有兩種方法,一種是你改變心態,不再執著於每個人必須按照你的方式去做事的想法。還有一個就是換一個擦桌子的方式和你所期待的一樣的臨時工。很顯然,前者是一勞永逸的方法(佛教用的就是這種方法)。後者只能暫時解決問題,你可能必須不斷地更換臨時工(這也是很多人不斷更換老公的原因)。你可能花了很多時間找到一個照你說的方式去擦桌子的臨時工,但你很快會發現,她上廁所的時候居然忘了沖馬桶。因此,試圖以改變外在的世界來追求完美是徒勞無功的。永遠會有你意想不到的事情出現,把毫無準備的你激怒。你有多少執著,就有多少痛苦,要擺脫痛苦,你必須從所有的執著裏出離。

當你生氣的時候你應該看一下自己的心,為什麼會生氣。是否因為出現了與你期待正相反的東西。你的期待,就是你所執著的東西。佛陀不會被任何事情激怒,因為他出離了所有的執著。你可能因為任何事情生氣,你可能因為公共汽車開的太慢而生氣,可能因為找不到所需要的東西而生氣(她把東西放哪了?她總是亂放東西),甚至可能因為你想讓他生氣的人不生氣而生氣。這說明你非常脆弱。你很容易被激怒。在經過一段時間的修行之後,你可能還是未能了悟空性,也不知道金剛經在說什麼。但你還是和過去有所不同,過去你是個追求完美的人,而現在你已經可以容許很多不完美的事在自己的生活中出現。例如,你可以吃一道比較鹹的菜而不會抱怨。所謂完美主義者,也就是說,你希望所有的事情都要達到你所希望的樣子,你希望住在牆壁是天藍色的屋子裏(如果不是,你就會睡不著覺),你不喝桶裝水之外的任何水,你希望用自己喜歡的杯子喝茶,希望茶的味道不要太濃也不要太淡。做一個完美主義者的壞處就是,你會經常痛苦,因為這個世界上多數事情都不會輕易俯首聽命,它們不會事事順著你。要讓他們達到你所希望的樣子,你必須花很多時間。很多人試圖創造完美的世界,不過他們最終都被證明失敗了。事實上,只要把你的心稍作調整,一切都會很完美。你之所以看到的是一個不完美的世界,是因為你有各種執著和不切實際的期待,如果你可以從這裡出離,你會變得非常強大,你不再堅持必須住在有藍色牆壁的屋子裡,不再堅持必須喝桶裝水,不再堅持必須用自己喜歡的杯子喝水,不再堅持茶的味道必須不濃不淡。 如果你出離了所有的執著,那麼你就會變得非常自由,沒有任何事情可以激怒你或傷害你。

佛教徒幾年之後,你也許可以輕而易舉的出離很多過去無法出離的東西,你變的不再關心那些被認為很世俗的事物。你不再翻閱汽車雜誌,也不再留意開過你身邊的車是法拉利還是奧迪。不再關心精品購物雜誌裡那些漂亮的衣服和背包,不再關心哪家購物中心正在打折,也不再經常更新你的QQ版本。你甚至可以不需要肉食也可以不再抽菸。可以說,你在這些方面出離的很好,你確實出離了一些東西。但是你可能會被另一些東西控制住,例如,你從肉食出離,卻走進了素食。你開始執著於素食,甚至認為肉食不潔,那些吃肉的人也會引發你的反感和敵視,這個時候,你應該從素食出離。你執著於吃素,而執著的直接結果就是製造出各種有害情緒,比如敵視。

同樣的,你可能不再關心張曼玉的新歡是黑人還是白人,不再關心最新款法拉利,也不再關心今秋流行的鞋的款式,但是你開始關心另一些東西,你開始關心如何弄到純天然的紅珊瑚佛珠,開始蒐集各種佛像,開始關心高僧們的八卦,這表示你的出離並不徹底。你只是從一個籠子鑽到另一個籠子裡而已。真正擁有出離心的標準就是,你可以隨時拋棄任何你熟悉的東西,你可以走出任何你習慣的場景。不會有猶豫,不會有不捨。如果你可以做到這一點,那麼你可以說你的出離心很完美。具有出離心的人可以接受任何改變,他不會因為任何事情而憤怒。記住,我說的是任何事情,不光是那些很世俗的事情,也包括那些你認為很神聖的事情,例如,拜佛的動作。我們經常因為改變而生氣,因為改變通常是對我們已經習慣的東西的冒犯。如果你還會被某件事情激怒,那說明你在那件事情上尚未出離。這些事情可能是對你來說比較重要的事情,你可能不會因為那些小事而動怒,但是一旦涉及你所認為的大事,你就可以瞭解到你是否具有出離心。

20150404

超現實系列生活小故事:小寶寶

「相薄」不是個罕見詞語,但「相薄」之為「薄」已不見得常見。數碼化把舊日許多實物化為0與1,寄存在電子構成的虛空裏,說它存在,倒更像是虛無,「空不等於無呀,空是本性空,是無常。」知道。實物的質感、螢幕的光點、視神經的傳送,腦海裏的印象,無不虛幻。

你指著我圓滾滾的肚子問:「這裏面是甚麼?」
我答:「是你呀。」
「我在這裏呀。」
「你曾經在這裏呀。」
「為甚麼?」
「因為這是你來到這裏之前住過的地方。」
「那我為甚麼會先在這裏才到這裏。」

終於這一球打到我面前了,要回一記經典的「你大個就知道了」,還是把握機會向你講第一課性教育好呢?

「就像你去婆婆處,我們乘的鐵路,乘幾站才到婆婆那?」
「二...三四站!」數數手指的你答得肯定。
「對喇,住這是你到這裏之前的一站,不經這一站,你便來不到這裏。」
「那麼!」你眼睛亮野野,「我在你肚子裏是第一站,現在是第二站,還有兩站會去哪裏?」
「你還小,你將來還有很多站,不止四個站,也可能去很遠的地方,要坐飛機坐火箭才能到。這裏也不是你的第一站,你以前已有很多站,這裏還有現在的你都只是其中的站。」
「以前是怎樣的?」
「你忘了,我也忘了,但我們一定曾經認識過,所以現在我們又在一起了。」
「那麼!那麼!你以前也很愛我嗎?」
「BB我真的忘了,但是現在的我很愛很愛你。」
「我也是很愛很愛很愛很愛你呀!」
「你快樂嗎?」
「快樂。」
「我剛剛說你以前有很多站,我們曾經遇上,所以我們是認識的?」
「嗯。」
「你以前的站,與我以前的站,到底有多少難以想像,只能說是非常多,每站都像你現在這樣,形態可能稍有不同,可能是一個孩子,孩子會長大,像我這樣,然後繼續長大變成婆婆那樣,然後像公公那樣會離開我們。」
「公公...」
「你想公公了?」
「嗯。」
「不要難過,公公去下一站了。」
「下一站是怎樣的?」
「也許會再去到某個媽咪的肚子裏,像你之前那樣,也可能以其他形式,生在不同的地方。」
「公公會再變成孩子嗎?」
「也許,所以我說我們之前有很多站,將來也會有很多站,公公以前可能是救過你的小狗,也可能是為你辛勞過的農夫,下一站可能是你身邊的一個小孩,也可能是地上的小花,也可能是水裏的小魚。因為以前的站太多,我們身邊的每個人、每個生命,甚至一切事物,我們都已經交匯過,都認識了,只是到了下一站,我們就忘了。」
「真的嗎?我好想想起來啊。」
「想不起來也不要緊,他們全部都在了,就在我們身邊,我們全部都是好朋友,人、動物及植物,一切有生命與無生命的,都是我們的好朋友,只是我們不記得我們曾經認識而已,明白嗎?」
「啊,那麼我們不是有很多朋友嗎?」
「對呀,所以對人要像對朋友一樣有禮貌,為人著想,例如乘鐵路擠人時我們要怎樣?」
「人擠時很難受呀,我都不能呼吸了。」
「真可憐,你個子小,下次多抱抱你。所以呢不想喘不過氣,擁擠時我們該怎樣?」
「如裏面有空間就走進去,不要擠在門前。」
「好乖,都記得。你很愛黑咪是嗎?」
「最愛黑咪了!」
「你也要把這些愛分給其他動物和花草樹木,因為他們就跟黑咪一樣,也是我們的好朋友,好嗎?」
「雖然牠們不夠黑咪可愛,但也很可愛,那好吧!」
「還有要愛護物件,自己的或是公共的都要愛護,試想想你喜歡的咪咪搖搖椅破了你會怎樣?」
「不要!」
「是吧?別人的東西也一樣,如果我們不小心弄壞了別人的東西,人家也會很困擾,如果是公共設施壞掉,還會使很多人不便,所以公共物品我們也應同樣愛護,明白了?」
「明白。」
「但如果真的不小心弄壞了人家的東西,我們一定要道歉啊。」
「知道啦。那麼... 動物是我們的朋友,植物也是我們的朋友,雖然我們不吃動物,但吃植物呀,那不是把朋友吃進肚子去了...」
「你說得對,不過你要知道動物變成食物前要面對死亡非常恐懼,身心承受很大的痛苦,而植物,它們跟動物不一樣,它們不會痛,尤其是果實,它們是為了吸引動物去吃而生的,像蘋果、牛油果不是有核嗎?那是它們的種子,動物吃了果肉,把吃不下的核吐出,就為植物播種了。即使這樣,我們還是得好好感謝為我們獻出生命的植物才對。」
「嗯~ 但我們沒在播種啊... 雖然我們每餐都在感謝它們,也有感恩眾生。」
「對啊,但不要緊,因為我們不是農夫,播種的事還是讓專業的他們去做吧,沒有他們的努力,就沒有我們每天每餐的食物,所以對農夫們,我們要心懷感激。」
「嗯。」
「我們與眾生都交匯過,眾生就是我們,我們都是一體的。」
「所以公公以前可能是小狗?下一站可能是小花小魚?」
「嗯。」
「你很漂亮呢,我在這裏面時這張照片。」
「謝謝你,謝謝爸爸,是爸爸替我們拍的。」
「爸爸還沒起床,呢!」
「去親親他。」
「不要,鬍子很刺。」

想告訴你的事情有很多,不過要學習的事情更多,感恩有你們陪我慢慢體會成長。性教育嗎?下回吧。




surrealist’s mini story - darling baby

Album, a common term.  The object it refers to, not so commonly seen in everyday life though.  Entities once in the past are now digitized, replaced with 0 and 1 stored in the vast electronic ocean.  A form of existence more like it is a void.  "emptiness doesn't mean in vain, emptiness is the nature, the shifting nature of everything." Affirmative.  The textures of things, a pixel of a screen, the signals transmitted by optical nerves, the images interpreted in the brain, aren't they all illusory?


"What was inside there?" pointing at my round belly you asked.

"It was you." I answered.

"Here I am standing."

"There you were once."

"Why?"

"Because this was where you were before you are here."

"Why was I there and then here I am?"


Finally my turn.  Should I give it a classic one like "you'll see when you grow up." or should I seize this chance to teach you the very first lesson about sex?


"Like when you have to go see your grandma by train, how many stations should we travel?"

"Two... three four stations!" you gave a firm answer after counting fingers.

"That's right.  Just like train stations, this was where you were before you arrive here, you can't come here unless passing through there."

"So!" your eyes were glowing in excitement, "Your belly was my first station, here is the second one, where will the next two stations bring me?"

"Little one, you'll have a long way to go in the future, way beyond four stations, it might be so far away that you'll have to get there by aeroplane or even by rocket.  This isn't your first station either, there were many many stations, right this moment where you are is just one of your stations."

"What were they like, the past stations?"

"You've forgotten about that and same goes here, but we must have met some how in the past, so here we come together again right here right now."

"So! So! You loved me like you do, didn't you?"

"BB, I really can't recall, but I really really love you right this moment."

"I really really really love you too!"

"Are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Didn't I say there were many many stations in the past, we've met and knew each other already?"

"Uh."

"It is hard to even imagine just how many of them for you and for me, let's just say the number must be huge.  In each of these stations you might have been a little different from how you are now.  You might have been a child, then you grew bigger like how I am, you kept on growing up and turned into an older person like grandma, and then passed away just like grandpa did."

"Grandpa..."

"You miss him?"

"Mm."

"You don't have to feel bad, grandpa is in the next station of his journey."

"How is it like?"

"He might come into some mummy's belly once again like you did in mine, or born in another form some place else."

"He'll be a child once again?"

"Possibly, that's why I said there were and will be many stations, in the past grandpa might have been a doggy that saved your life, or he could have been a farmer who sweated under the sun for you.  In his next station he might be a little child you know, or a tiny flower blossoms on earth or a little fish swimming in water.  There were so so many stations we've passed through that every single one of us, every life and even everything around us have somehow intersected, we all knew each other, just that we couldn’t remember once we arrived the next station."

"Really?  I want those memories back."

"It's ok even if you can't, they are all here around us, we are all friends.  I mean people, animals and plants, every life every object are good friends of ours, just that we don't remember we knew each other in the past, got it?"

"Oh, so many friends that we have?"

"That's right, that's why we should be polite to everyone like we do to friends, be considerate.  Like... what should we do in a crowded train?"

"It's bad. I was squeezed and couldn't breath."

"Poor little one, I'll carry you more when times like this come.  So what should we do if we don't want that happen when the train's too crowded?"

"Move inside if there's room, never block the door area."

"That's my baby, you remember all that.  You love little Panther, don't you?"

"She's my love!"

"You should share this love for little Panther to other animals and plants, because they're all good friends to us, OK?"

"They are no match in cuteness with little miss Panther but still very lovely, you have my word."

"And when it comes to stuff, we should handle them with care, no matter they are ours or public property.  Imagine how would you feel if your rocking kitty is broken."

"No!"

"Exactly, people feel the same to their belongings too, if we break things that belong to others they'll be upset like you would.  We'll even cause inconvenience to a lot more people if what we break is a public facility.  So that's the reason why we should take good care of public properties like we do to our own stuff, understand?"

"Yes."

"But if we really break people's stuff by accident we must apologize."

"Sure thing.  So, I mean... animals are our friends and so are plants, we don't eat animals but vegetables.
 Aren't we eating our friends..."

"You are right, but you need to understand one thing that before animals turn into food they'll have to face death and it is extremely terrifying that will tear their bodies and souls apart in great agony.  Plants are different, they don't feel pain, especially when it comes to fruit it's another story, they are designed to attract animals, like apples and avocados they have seeds and stones, haven't they?  The stones are also seeds, animals that come for the fruits eat only the flesh and pulp, the stones are spitted out and thus sow the seeds.  Nevertheless, we still thank those plants that have given their lives to become our food."

"Um, but we're not sowing the seeds though we do thank them and the rest of all beings before every meal."

"You are right but that's OK, for the sowing part let's leave it to the professional farmers for we do not possess the knowledge to do so.  Without their effort there would be no food for our meals everyday three times a day. For that we thank the farmers from the bottom of our hearts."

"Uh."

"We've intersected with every being, we are this whole of existence itself, being as one."

"And so, is that why grandpa might have been a doggy in the past and might turn into a tiny little flower or fish in his next station?"

"Um-hum."

"You were beautiful in this picture with me inside."

"Thank you, and thank daddy for he took the picture for us."

"Daddy, the sleepeeeeHEAD!!"

"Go kiss him."

"No, he has a prickly face."


There is a lot I want to say to you, yet a lot more to be learned.  I am so blessed to have you two by my side to experience and grow up together.  Sex education?  May be next time.




20101231

scream doors


"please stand back from the platform scream doors." if i were the doors themselves, i would very much like to scream every single second especially when the dooors of another train from accross the platform hurl people out convulsively, people are beging as one as liquid being diluted, oozes out happily and boiling with the excitement of whatever the emotion is, eventually cools and gooes when arrives at my side. the happiness and futile excitment are what making me sick.

20101229

漫步玻璃沙灘

原來,真的有很多事情是一廂情願的,或是忘了,也可能是故意忘掉。

很痛很痛,無情力的傷使人最痛。聆聽人信是真的。那天無意的一席話,把聆聽人的心不經意地貫穿,他不知道,聆聽人也不知道,竟這麼痛。

她身瘦薄,命更薄。消殞了,卻遺下幻影與現實相接,不能再忽略與遺忘,愚蠢的聆聽人選擇轉以背向。這麼滄涼,一個沙灘,沙上一個個足印,綻放刺眼殷紅,放眼盡是玻璃碎片,拾起看看,原來正好安插到聆聽人失去了的部分,然後自問,還想要真相嗎?一個沙灘,玻璃碎片都等待著插進聆聽人的身體裏去,聆聽人繼續漫遊。

20100824

"BIG MISTAKE TO CORRECT A BIG WRONG DECISION"

一個國家,一個首都,一個為紀念其國父而建的公園。一個世紀前,在此他為理想身死於異國人之手,而他的像永立,看顧著他的土地與人民。一個世紀過去,昨天他見證了他的人民,為自身清譽,葬送了八個異國人的性命,究竟是何感觸?

從那廝島國到這廝小島來是十萬她的思鄉女兒,抱著異地人的女兒看見自己的兒女,刷著光亮冰冷雲石地如踏著青草泥香,迷失於高樓大街聲色情感之間,嘈吵狹隘得寂寞而瘋狂在腦海裏獨自起舞。

這舞者,不能愛這地,她沒有名字,她是姐姐。這地兒永遠錐痛她的神經,是委屈。家務勤炊事忙,曾經拋起四方帽的右手,現在執的是鑊鏟掃帚。拭著淚,想起家裏那個人,不知他可好。他雖然有點慵懶,但家裏天災連連,工作沒關係又不好找也怪不得他。不要緊,五年,讓我儲夠了錢就回家,開家小店,讓孩子上好一點的學校去,讓他們知道善惡,我們的寄望都托於下一代。現在的總統不是已經落力肅貪倡廉了嗎,孩子長大時社會會好起來的,會更公平的,將來他們靠的不再是關係而是靠知識力爭上游,一切是值得的。其實,你會不會已經變了心... 」

「康泰一個菲律賓四日團昨日在馬尼拉國父黎剎紀念公園展開最後一日行程,原定昨晚返港。槍手門多薩( Rolando Mendoza)早前被警隊革職,與上級爭取不果,遂持 M-16自動步槍脅持人質要求復職...

20100816

protest superficially


protest is about making statements, i myself is the life-long protest reacting to the society im living in. the way i think is represented in the way i act, dress, eat, love... what i embrace tells what i against, that is protest. the notion is always there that i haven't paid much attention to until recently.

the persuit of beauty, the beauty of the tangable world, like a nice sunset, the blooming of a nameless tiny flower or a lover's kiss are still enchanting to me yet a question is asked all along: what beauty is? "beauty is in everything." for example in people, the faces of my own race are the most intriging, their complexity, the emotions and textures are what beauty exudes rather then the material nature of beautiful faces because beautiful faces expire, true beauty doesnt.

in this decade people are more body-conscious than ever, not only women are dying to shape up but men do too. the teen model phenomenon shows the shifting of value of sexuality and sensuality and we're all sucked into this vortex of sexy/beautifful=value.


it might not be a conscious act for what im projecting with my look at first, it turns out that im willing to put anything on, even the most feminine clothes but avoid to look too feminine, dont wanna fit in to the sterotype of what a "girl" should look, like wearing long hair and having makeup on my face. these are all sex appeal oriented, when a person looks better s/he is more easily to be liked, and hopefully, to be loved, in between, to get laid, in the end, get married or get parted, all these efforts put for one simple hope hanged by a piece of thread that wears out as time goes by.

i cant stop wondering what remains after the earthly beauty subsides for a girl and for the relationship. m i still loved if i strip off my makeup or even if im disfigured, will i be half the person i was? i asked the question and had answer but i was too shallow to realise how significant the answer was and how dear was that person to my trivial life. although this might not link directly, i decided to go makeupless, for look changes every sigle day, beauty or otherwise dont last. without the touch of glitter, like me not for who i am and how i look exactly.

please accept the truth that we grow old, and along grows our knowledge as well.


20100802

愛與快樂之神


多巴胺,主宰愛與快樂,我想尊它為神。從前認為以化學之名命名愛,很不浪漫,而今,我只希望愛神多巴胺多多眷顧、常常臨幸,令我遠離苦厄,甜笑滿臉如夏夜昨晚。

在飄盪著 disco 2000 的夜風中小跑了一會,不太累,不想太累,不繞圈跑就慢慢切入草地中心,然後躺下,看看四面燈火高樓環抱的星空,草地卻是難得的幽暗,Sæglópur 襯托下的旺角夜空其實也很美,便想到家中等待的人,很想與她飯後再來吹風吹水,就快快回去做飯。起來時人己涼,也不渴,回去前還是想到水機喝點水再走。兩部機,三個小孩,高的二人在左邊喝,右邊小的嚷讓著喝不到,我替他按著著他喝,小孩楞著有兩秒鐘才開得口說「我不夠高呀。」我說你不夠高呀怎麼辦?那我抱你吧,就抱起了孩子。懷中的小孩,比想像中輕又軟,著他用力按制,他用力按;問他可喝得到,他點頭;問他夠了沒,他點點頭,我把他放下,高的己經在我身旁,對小的說那快跟姐姐說謝謝啦,我心裏真是快樂滿瀉,歲月神偷嗎?竟有如此有禮小孩,我附和著對呀快說謝謝姐姐啦,小的扭膩,一時說不上來,我勾著他袖邊又著他一次,他以極靦覥的笑容謝謝姐姐了,又是一陣甜膩爆發,真的很可愛呀。再見了孩子,我也謝謝你們,因為你們簡簡單單就為我無痛無悔地,帶來了很大劑量的多巴胺的一個晚上。

20100703

babel

我覺得這樣斷開,我失去了我的朋友。有我從來沒有真正盡力,或者我已經扼殺他們喘不過氣來,於是便離開了。Wǒ juéde zhèyàng duàn kāi, wǒ shīqù le wǒ de péngyǒu. Yǒu wǒ cónglái méiyǒu zhēnzhèng jìnlì, huòzhě wǒ yǐjīng èshā tāmen chuǎn bùguò qì lái, yúshì biàn líkāi le.私はそう切断感じ、私は私の友人を失った。本当にハードな試したことがない私がいるか、私は息を絞めているので、彼らは出発した。我覺得這樣斷開,我失去了我的朋友。我從來沒有試過真的很難,因為我已經扼殺了呼吸,他們離開了。I think this disconnect, I lost my friend. I've never tried really hard, because I have killed the breathing, they left.i feel so disconnected, i lost my friends. have i never really tried hard enough or i've strangled them breathless and so they departed.

20100622

鳳儀の食桌

「常態」是只要當事情進入「常態」,即使多離奇的事情都能一句:「一向如此。」打發過去。

「常態」是歲歲一家三口晚晚吃飯,我只管拼命盯著電視,一頓飯,不發一言,半碗飯幾口肉一堆菜填下去就離枱,不洗碗。

「常態」是爸爸說著陳舊笑話或涼簿的話,自個兒笑得開懷,我唧都唔笑。

「常態」是爸爸取笑媽媽做菜斷估冇辛苦,我說不是呀很好吃呀。

父親節到了,與爸爸飲茶。很奇怪,我想的老是媽媽,有時又想到爸爸的電話簿與它的暗喻,然後我的眼淚直往上灌,脫離常態。

五色

「慾望來自眼見之物」,此話所言非虛。電視屏幕中的情侶只是在談天擁抱,看的人卻感到胸口一陣火辣,不得不打電話給她的情人,告訴她想念她,可她太忙,她來不及訴說她的激情處,她己經掛了線。 不是味兒?說不上,倒是習慣了。她能得到就是她所給予的,其餘別無他求。她平靜,因為她對她的信任,與她給她的信心。

第七堂 小說/散文 - 孩子身上衣

母親節過去了,父親節將到,今天在冰涼的地鐵車廂中,坐在我對面的一對小兄弟正快樂地玩耍,但並不吵鬧。弟弟身上穿著一件雪白的 T 恤,胸口醒目地印著紅黑圖案「I ♥ MOM」,煞是可愛。

T 恤相信是現世最普遍的衣物之一,可以想像這簡簡單單就能吸引人視線的東西,是人類共同擁有最大的影像載體,假如有外星人從高處觀察,我們的 T 恤就構成了一幅球體的心像圖,透露著我們的思想,'喜好甚至立場。看到了孩子身上的訊息,外星人大概會知道孩子好愛他媽媽,但他們知不知道,人類孩子的衣服並不是他們自己挑的?對面的孩子還小,挑選的重任由他媽媽負責。十月懷胎,含辛茹苦,起居飲食,無微不至,盼的都是一句話。孩子年幼也許未懂話中真諦,不要緊,穿上了,看見了,心裏也就甜膩。

由挑選衣服時的第一下甜笑,至勞氣地套在蹦蹦跳不肯好好靜下穿衣服的孩子身上,這一切都注滿了媽媽對孩子的愛與寄望。在孩子挑選他自己的第一件 T 恤前,就好好享受這甜蜜的控制吧。

第六堂 填詞

第五堂不翼而飛了,所以跳到第六堂

曲: 愛回家 副歌部分

極欲與你相對
假使你一觸易碎
你漸行漸遠 感受是前後亦失據
陪我一刻別要我心碎
心裏懼怕不消退
他生未可知
眼前繁華亦可摧
來共對

Miss 評語:「是否說自己喜歡的人要離開?但希望他可以留下,只是現在一刻也好?」詞義表面上是「我」很想與「他」共對,實際上是我作為市民,對曾特首面對反對聲音時所持的態度的感受。我在這裏答,miss 不會看到,反正沒有人關心。

第三堂 演講(3 分鐘)/第四堂 評論文章

第三堂 演講(3 分鐘) - 紅

講起紅色你會諗起咩呢?喜慶事?紅色o既室內設計?紅色o既血?紅色對你厘講代表 d 咩呢?

身為中國人,紅色係喜慶o既,好似新年節日,婚宴等等,但同一個紅色o係同一個中國又會令人勾起另一種截然不同的情緒。文革的一片紅色,由每人手執一本毛語錄構成。o係呢個火紅年代裏面,究竟有幾多人、幾多文物被燒毁。呢一把火燒燒下燒到厘香港,燒到林彬都o係 67年被燒死。

我最近聽過一個笑話,話只要見到紅色,大同重覆就知道係中國 o既 contemporary art,雖然是個笑話,但亦都說明咗火紅年代對中國當代藝術的影響實在唔少。咁當然都因為紅色o係視覺上的衝擊係大o既,好容易吸引人o既注意力,所以也係唔少藝術家同設計師喜愛o既顏色。紅色係暖色,俾人感覺熱情,例如o係屋企加多幾件紅色家俬就可以增添活力同生氣。所以紅色係一個帶動人情緒,激動人心o既顏色。

-----

第四堂 評論文章 - 透過高鐵看社會

高鐵造價高達六六九億,引起的討論、爭議亦與這數字成正比,支持反對的音不斷迴響。

其實當不久之前武漢段的高鐵通車,標誌著中國的高速鐵路網的發展步伐,只會一直向前,速度有增無減,香港作為中國的一個南端城市,亦是中國其中一個早己成熟的都會、面向世界的一扇窗戶,與國內的交流亦日益頻繁,如果說香港不興建高速鐵路加以配套,實在是不切實際,雖然現階一地兩檢還暫時不能配合,但這相信也只是時間問題,值得商榷的反而是車站的選址。

現選址於西九龍,地點其實是偏離鬧市的,離開車站後要走不短的路程才可轉乘別的交通工具往香港其他地區,在節省時間方面可以說是不太稱職,而且位處西九龍,對新界的居民來說形同虛設,不少這地區的市民都表示,要先乘車到九龍再乘高鐵是浪時間,寧願乘東鐵到羅湖去更省時省錢,但若車站設於錦上路西鐵站,便可使更廣笵的市民大眾享用此項設施,造價方面更能大幅下降,受影響的地區及人數也能大大減少,這些方面的聲音,政府有否細心聆聽?

反高鐵的青年人,採取了和平而理性的苦行與斷食,以身體力行的表達方式,大向大眾展示他們的訴求,卻一直沒有獲得與曾特首的對話機會,政府在面對返對聲音時,只是採取迴避的態度,並未予人有誠意展開溝通的感覺,或許雙方最欠缺的就是溝通,日後應促進這方面的發展,寄望將來能達成雙嬴的和諧方案及社會。

20100528

fades

"i wanna bring colours to the world" once she dressed rainbows, ambitiously. that was one happy moment in her life. she's now sidated, the colours' gone, she tries to mimic the colours she used to be, which she no longer has them because a part of her has gone with you.

20100508

又厘 tiramisu


要與時並進又豈止不與時並進o既政府及其政策,講野都要有牙力啦,整野食都要有食力,tiramisu 蛋素強化修正如下:

用具
大碗,打忌廉用
糕盤(圓,7") 或膠盒(方,一般唔太細微波盒)
麵包刀,無就餐刀都ok(哈哈)
攪拌機,無就所有攪野都搵手用打蛋器攪,一樣得

材料
●忌廉芝士 250g(即一舊卡夫 philadelphia)
●糖 50g
●蛋 2隻
●大菜絲 - 打碎成粉 1 湯匙
●生粉 1 湯匙
●忌廉 1細盒
●冧酒 3湯匙
●咖啡 1/3 杯
●清蛋糕 1個(可買較細的方形蛋糕,切成1cm薄片,如買圓形約 6" 的打平切圓片,可切4片,但只需用2片剩餘的必須做明天的早餐)
●純朱古力粉(無糖)

做法
1 忌廉必須夠凍先打,先打得企身,備用
2 打蛋備用
3 咖啡開好,加酒備用
4 糖同芝士一齊加入攪拌機攪勻
5 分 3 次加蛋入芝士攪滑
6 大菜粉、生粉加水煮溶成約 3~4 湯匙分量,加入芝士攪勻
7 加忌廉攪勻
8 將已切片的蛋糕放糕盤或膠盒,灑上咖啡酒至蛋糕吸飽,倒芝士至超過糕面 1cm,放第二層蛋糕,再灑咖啡酒,再倒芝士,灑朱古力粉,雪起碼 2 個鐘,食時小心比 d 粉濁親~

20100429

the jolt of silence

i am a shadow, once an entity, it mutes and mutes
once amusing, the after taste wasn't, it mutes.

currents of men and women, sucked by vaccum of desires. they didnt see me, even if they did, i was just a ghost in orange on blue ground to haunt a millisecond before i joined the current, headed for some one. "i" melted into "it", lost my form, be a part. there's nothing outside it, there's only me, i am the current.

a sorry means nothing to those who dont't care. i'll save this for myself. i should be a better person, if there is a choice. im sorry. i mute.

"there will be others" there will always be. do you care for a sorry? you ached for that who mutes. the emptiness, the silence, there's no one in the current in the jolt of violence.

the feet, the branch, hopes and fears. ambitions nurture dreams. breakthroughs are what it means, what one follows and try to create tomorrow together we'll make our statement loud and clear.

20100223

誰能迫我,屈我欲肉育辱我


重逢多年不見親人,席上知道我吃素,就問了為何,大家文化背景不同,沒試著細說,就胡謅說為了健康,長輩們,自然是有一抹憂心,但總算相安無事。不料一夜過去換了個樣,兩位嬸嬸突然制出車輪攻勢,對我窮追猛打,說有需要就吃點肉吧,別說你爸爸見了你這樣,我們見了你這樣飲食也肉赤你,你就吃些菜,沒營養,看你多瘦。茹素這回事沒有開關制,不是喜歡 on 就 on,不喜歡就放假去 off 幾餐,我就把昨晚說過的再說一遍,說我面色不錯,健康也好。嬸見我不折,使出皇牌──我爸,嬸說他對我沒意見,就不喜歡我吃素。這麼多年了,原來他不是沒意見,只是沒說,如此時刻,他終於吐露了。聽了這話,人不折心折。我體無完膚,嬸們使出最後絕招,說世界最重要是親情,你就順著他吃點魚試著吧,這羅輯是,你堅持吃素幾近不孝,真的讓我感到委屈,我說我不是作奸犯科,我只是吃素。

說甚麼為健康、為積德都是廢話,都不是我關心的。我當然愛我爸,但是不是盲目就等於愛,愛惜草木山水小蟲禽獸能否是愛,互相尊重能否是愛?

你來自金星,我是火星人,何苦紅塵裏相交戰。

20100204

再見了

我之為我,因為有你,曾經。你我這麼親,卻原來你這樣神秘,有些事情,不要問,就不能問,尤其如今,更不能問了。

那天我不能思考,出門前還懂把電話充電,沒電了。鎖了門又折返,不能不害怕心裡那陣錐痛,如此巨大。那個時候,為甚麼在心裡浮現的竟會是,我不氣惱你了,明明我早就沒恨了,真的沒有恨,只有愧。到了,見了你,我知道你想說的是,你很愛我,你最記掛的,不是別人,是我,即使我聽不到。然後她那看不見的嘴唇張合著,那麼超現實,來乾脆地割斷我薄弱的希望,同時謝謝他朋友般的親切。

十多小時,太匆匆卻濃稠。有些事情意想不到,有些難以理解,有些太突然,有些太痛苦,有些希望,最後絕望。有些決定做了不後悔,我知道你一定也不捨得他們,我們都愛你,只希望你不怪責我為你作了這決擇,也因為這決擇,我知道有人像你記掛我般記掛你、珍愛你,無可比擬的疼愛,你是欣慰卻痛心,對嗎?

你的心跳,是否因為不捨,所以有點太快?你是有點累,睡得愈來愈沉,我能理解,你很貪睡的。醒來後到哪去遊玩了?都不要緊,開心就好。真羨慕你,那麼多人愛,以後你愛的人由我來照料,謝謝你那樣愛過我們。請你不要難過,不用不捨,你讓我更明白,今後的路是要朝著愛與貢獻走,請祝福我。希望你以後可以無牽無掛,快樂安然。